Make your enemies your allies

Uzzi, B., & Dunlap, S. (2012, May). Make your enemies your allies. Harvard Business Review, 1-10.

Summary

This article discusses an approach to help turn rivals into allies. Through the use of what the author terms the '3Rs' (Redirection, Reciprocity, and Rationality), the author provides practical and applicable strategies for having crucial conversations. Redirection and been seen as shifting blame for a situation on to another person or groups to reduce tension. It can also be used to look for ways to connect with another person on something they share in common (e.g. a sports team or hobby). Reciprocity is the idea of giving before you ask. Think about what the other person wants and trying to determine if you can give that to them and if the other party can easily return the favor without much effort. Rationality is about establishing expectations and the facts or truths that needs to exist in the relationship going forward. It is not advisable to start off with a rival with facts and truths. Using the other two Rs first will help your counterpart become ready to receive a rational argument.

Experience

I find this article highly relevant to my work and personal life. Using the 3Rs is a very practical and effective way to work through a tense situation and come out the other side having built more trust with the persons on the other side. We often try to jump straight to facts when engaging in a crucial conversation and often ignore the emotions that are tried up in the other person's point of view. By taking the time to work through redirection and reciprocation, I believe there is always a good chance to neutralize emotions enough to get to a rational place.

KEYWORDS: redirection, reciprocation, rationalization, emotions, rival, trust